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august 2016

still at lc for most of this. i relapsed a lil. bath was ok, i went with M and the Ls, but i couldnt help thinking i weighed down, even when M was relaly nice to me. that was the worst bit, knowing i was betraying him. possibly the worst day was the party. i made a brilliant bacchnat btw, but it hurt because i could see everyone having fun and being good humans. M and G too, and i wanted to be with them, and i wanted to be like them, but every time he saw me he smiled awkwardly, because they was nothing to say, there was nothing we had in common, and i couldnt stop crying, even when O gave me a clammy hug and i said i was alright. going home was weird. dad barely said anything about the Shit.

sweet potato fried are genuinely god, with some paprika, garlic salt, salt and pepper, cornflour, sun oil, cooked for abt 18 minutes and tunred over in the middle.

src is going ok. but not very busy. one of the others is a Terrible mess, the otehr is decent, and i like alphabetizing thinsg.

today was my first day volunteering at crv. it was. an experience. before i had been pretty scared about a certain man beacuse he was an asshole but everybody seemed to know he was an asshole, so it wasnt bad, and also he wasnt there, and the people there were nice, it were Chill. but i think a major theme of this summer will be waiting at least in the moments when i am a working person. it was grandads birthday too, and we'd said i'd be oo tired to come over, and he's been so disappointed, and i'd felt awful, and in the end turns out i wasn't too tired to go, after all.